Iowa to Florida

It is unreal that I have moved once again.  Feeling so unsettled. Yet, this is as settled as it gets. We moved here because we think it will help my migraines. We plunged into this for justifiable reasons and now we are adapting.  I could get personal...  should I get personal? Did you know there is a pandemic going on right now and I am homesick for Texas.  I just do not know what to tell you about me and this time in my life.  It has somehow caused anxiety beyond measure to leave Texas, and yet has increased my creative side and I have searched and found hope.  As old as I am, you would think I would know what I want out of life.  I suppose that would be to adapt and enjoy and be at peace with whatever circumstance.  My migraines do seem to be better.  

I have so enjoyed the scenery here in Panama City Beach, Florida.  I am a beach baby at heart. Some of my best childhood memories are of playing on the beach, building sandcastles, finding shells, eating sand in my eggs and hot dogs that mom cooked for us on the beach, and feeling the ups and downs in my head as I ebb off to sleep listening to the waves that I have heard all day long.  And the sun -- I love the warmth of the sun on my face.  The beach inspired a curiosity about marine life, beach and ocean landscapes, and the natural things of this earth.

Life of Heidi

In June 2015, I wrote about "Life Behind the Gate".  My dog Maggie had passed away and I was incredibly sad.  I still miss her and want another female Dachshund one day.  I was content though knowing that I still had Heidi, my cat.  I have written about her a few times.  Heidi passed from this earth August 2020 at 15.  She had been sick with what we thought was a tooth infection.  Looking back, I always thought she would eventually get better and live until she was 17 or more because I took such good care of her. Bless her heart, if she had been at home in Texas and able to go outside, she would have just ran away and died.  She hid the last month of her life under the bed.  I thought it was because she did not want to go to the vet again.  It turns out, she had cancer in her jaw and was suffering.  I was so distracted by moving over the last few months to equate her hiding to her eventual death.  I coaxed her out many times and held her and squeezed her.  She would purr and relax on my neck.  She was more loving in the last days.  She was eating but only because I put her in front of the bowl and made a gravy out of her food.  She had become unsteady on her feet and fell down often. 

Heidi was born just before Hurricane Rita.  We adopted her to be an outside kitty and keep mice and snakes away.  Unbeknownst to us she was already pregnant and ended up birthing 8 kittens and she nursed a baby squirrel that fell out of a tree.  We found homes for them all at the appropriate time and gave the well-fed baby squirrel to a wildlife rehab place.  Heidi survived flooding of Hurricane Ike on her own for 2 weeks.  When we finally made it home to survey the damage, she came running out of the woods towards us.  We thought we would only be gone a few days.  I do not know how she survived the flood.  She moved around with us away from that area.  Then she traveled with me north to see my husband at his different job locations.  Once she stayed in a hotel with us for 10 weeks in Oregon.  She would get carsick, but I discovered a way to put her facing front and high and in the middle of the car or truck and she slept most of the way.

She was finicky and ignored or ran away from many visitors.  However, she recognized my friend Sherry and my friend Stephanie who visited often.  She would run into the living room to greet them.  She would roll on her back just beyond reach and force them to move to pet her.  She loved for them to pet her.  Sherry was afraid of cats but she learned to trust Heidi.  Sherry would have her love fest, then promptly brush off the cat hair and go wash her hands.  Ha ha!  She was allergic to cats.  I know Sherry and Stephanie are just as sad as I am about loosing Heidi.  Sherry lost Fudge (her dog) and Stephanie lost Simba (her cat).  The losses are still fresh on their minds.  Our pets are our family and love us unconditionally.  I will miss that, I will miss you Heidi!  I long to hold you close again and feel your purr.